Text | UN: Anonymous

[mayoninofukucho]

[Hijikata was just having the time of his life on the Island of Dreams, playing with a whole bunch of cute mayonnaise mascots, when a little bird (literally or not... who knows) told him that back in Camelot his ghost subordinates are being hunted and trapped by dark web denizens. Shit!! Why does this happen the one time his burner phone is out of commission?!

After a quick panicked brainstorming session he decides to take to AOL, totally anonymous this time, just in case. He'll keep it short and sweet.]

How do you find ghosts that have been sealed in containers and hidden?

[If only there were something like a more specialised Wayfinder spell for this exact situation! Wait, didn't the traders sell a pendulum that can detect items? Ugh, why didn't he buy it?! But really, who could know that something like this would happen? Now he can only hope that Avalon's netizens have some good ideas for him.]

Comments

[mayoninofukucho]

[Holy crap!! Those are his men and women! He's seen them in their diffuse bottled form often enough to recognise their hues and motions. So this mystery ghost hunter really captured almost all of them, going by the number of glasses... how?! What an absolute menace! Okay, stay calm, Toshirou. That jackass doesn't know that they've got the ghosts you want!]

I still want to inspect each ghost before I decide if I want them. Let's meet in the botany section of the library (conceal your identity however you want, I will too). You go to aisle F, I'll take G. We'll take out a few books in the middle and pass the jars and the money through the gap.

[Again, he really shouldn't be spelling out the entire plan here where anyone can read it... but he's confident that he'll be able to beat the snot out of anyone trying to buy or steal his subordinates out under him.]

[sulit]

[The video flicks off quickly as soon as she gets a response back. Back to text she goes, while she transports herself and these jars back inside.]

No dice!!! Wow, you're bad at this. What exactly are you inspecting the ghosts for? What sort of qualities are you looking for that you can't see in that video? You think you're just going to pop open a jar and have an interview with a ghost just to see if you got a connection? That's not how this works, chump.

Either you want a ghost or you don't, but you're not touching a single jar before I get money in my account, and that's final. You don't like it? You can go gently caress someone else's ghosts.

[mayoninofukucho]

You're bad at this too!! Do you want to sell the ghosts or not?

[Ugh, this isn't going well... he needs to rescue his subordinates, but he really doesn't want to give in to a ghost trapper!!]

It goes both ways: you aren't getting a single gold coin (and it'll be coins, not e-gold) before you haven't handed over the jars. Hence my fair suggestion of doing it one transaction at a time, simultaneously!

[In the worst case he'll really have to shell out that way, but he hopes he'll be able to apprehend this danger to the spectral society before they can make off with the payment. Of course he doesn't know what cloaking techniques or obstacle creation abilities this person has, but he can only chance it!]

[sulit]

[This is not how she envisioned this at all, and she's about had it with this mysterious person. No scam is worth this amount of fussing. She's not even intending to hand over the ghosts in the first place! They are safe and secure from anyone that would use them for ill purposes, which include this weirdo.]

[If she does release them, she'll do it at an undisclosed location at a later time, once she thinks they have a healthy chance at unlife! Like how you release captive animals back into the wild. Nature will be healed.]

You're not being fair at all; you're just being pushy and deciding things by yourself. I don't care about real coins. I have bills to pay, e-gold is where it's at! If you're going to make this so complicated, then forget it. I'm getting bored, and we're just going in circles.

Fact is that I have plenty of people I could sell to! But you're only getting these specific ghosts from me. ❌👛❓ ❌👻❗

When you're done being weird about "inspecting" these ghosts, then maybe we'll talk.

[mayoninofukucho]

[He's just as frustrated as her. He wants his ghosts back, but he can't let himself be scammed!! That'd only damage the Yuureisengumi's reputation even more! If he made an online transaction it'd be all too easy for this mystery person to simply vanish and leave him empty-handed! What's wrong with physically exchanging gold and jars? (Of course he isn't considering that this ghost peddler may be on the physically smaller and weaker side and therefore naturally more careful...)

At this rate he can only hope to find a technomancer who may or may not be able to untangle their MagiCast signature and give him a trail to follow, but technomancers aren't exactly common, so he may lose precious time finding one, and meanwhile his subordinates may end up getting bought by somebody else. Crap. Well, if it comes to that at least he'll make the seller sing.]

I'm not being pushy, I just want an equal exchange where neither of us can just steal from the other. But if this is your last word, so be it. Good luck finding someone else willing to pay your prices.

What's the handbag for?

[This is already the second person who uses those emote combinations... is this some death mage code he's missing out on? He feels like a moron!]

[sulit]

You were planning on paying me in useless physical currency. How is that not planning to steal from me? I mean, what am I going to do with that? Eat it? Sleep on it? You barely even asked after my prices. You just want to touch ghosts, you weirdo.

It's a coin pouch. For gold. Go read a book or something. 🤡

[mayoninofukucho]

Physical gold can still be put in your account.

[Right? He hasn't tried it himself, and it's probably a bit of a hassle, but anything else of value can be sold for e-gold, so surely that goes for coins as well.]

If you're not willing to honour fair trade arrangements any further pricing discussions are moot. And I don't want to touch the ghosts, I just wanted to get their age, type, etc!

[He's already fuming over that accusation when he sees the clown emote, which pushes him over the edge. He needs to pause for a moment to keep himself from capslocking expletives back at that irreverent anon bastard. He needs to keep cool!! Like he was just a random leisurely ghost shopper!]

Sleep tight while you still can. You'll pay for this.

[Good, Hijikata, you look perfectly hinged.]

[sulit]

Even if you gave me 10 million gold, I wouldn't sell them to you now. Weirdo. Creep. These ghosts deserve better than you.

I'll sleep like a baby. If you can't find a bunch of ghosts, you can't find me. Loser. 😬😵🤡🤡🤡🤪

[mayoninofukucho]

[He really, really shouldn't respond back again - someone needs to take the high road! -, but he's so pissed off, he simply can't hold back. How dare this jackass capture pretty much all his subordinates, be fussy and choosy over the payment method for them, and then dunk on him to this extent?!]

You're the weirdo and creep for trapping those ghosts in the first place!! Selling them like curiosities is so shitty of you!! They're dead, but they're still people!

[This is the man who used to shiver and whine at the mere prospect of ghosts... and, ironically, it's partly Klaudia's influence that made him turn out like this. When she criticised him for his fear and lack of sympathy for the spectres it apparently had a lasting effect.]

I'll find them, and I'll find you too, and then we'll see who's the loser!

[sulit]

[If only she knew the impression she's had, she might be a little touched.]

I'm just keeping them from creeps like you. What do you want ghosts for? Nothing good, I bet. I wasn't going to sell them to you anyway, I just wanted money. And you just wanted ghosts to abuse. You don't get to act all noble now that your plan didn't pan out.

I hope you get super cursed. Go die in a ditch.

[mayoninofukucho]

Bullshit! I wanted to free them and nothing more!

[At least now he has confirmation that this person really had no intention of handing the ghosts over to him... unless this is all lies now. Really, neither of them could trust the other one on anything from the start.]

You die!

[Now this is just like talking with Okita. It almost feels nostalgic.]

[sulit]

You're a terrible liar. Don't think I don't know what you're up to.

I'm going to live forever. I'm not afraid of an idiot like you.

[mayoninofukucho]

Going to live forever? Best of luck with your search for the Philosopher's Stone!

[That was hardly even an insult anymore, but as quickly as his temper ignited it cooled back down. He won't get anywhere like this; he needs to travel back to Camelot and start looking for actual clues to find his subordinates. Damn this scammer for making him waste so much valuable time!!]

[sulit]

[That's not much of a reaction this time, so Klaudia doesn't feel inclined to insult him more. She's bored, and she has other things that she needs to do--like making sure all six of these ghosts are securely hidden. Even if that means she has to alchemize a sealed space under the floorboards beneath the bed. No one's gonna find her ghosts. (She'll leave them a tiny light in there, though--it looks like a little bird that hops around and nests in the corners of the space--and tells them that she'll be back for them. She's not heartless.)]