text; un: maou (yep, it's this again)

[owarifool]

[ For whatever godforsaken reason, Kipposhi has decided the first thing he needs to do to announce that he's no longer on the mend is not to just, like, tell his friends he's back in top shape again, or go out into the town and flex his muscles a bit.



No, he just posts his abs to the network again, like a menace. ]


[[art by isaka]]

Comments

[ichoosefight]

idk your fans might have all moved on by now

but I might be able to make time in my schedule for a sparring match or two.

[owarifool]

as if anyone could forget about me. i burned my name into their memories forever!

[ichoosefight]

but that's what you're supposed to do at the host club

which makes it kinda par for the course

[owarifool]

plus i miss my co-workers.

[ichoosefight]

daww

have you always been this mushy, or did I just break through your hot topic spiked collar exterior

[owarifool]

the beauty of being The Fool is u can keep ppl guessing like this

[ichoosefight]

so the hot topic shell, got it ;)

private;

[owarifool]

speaking of shells tho

any word from Monika? i haven't been looking at my phone.

private;

[ichoosefight]

I haven't seen any posts from her since her birthday, but it seemed like she had people looking out for her.

was that her on your last post?

[owarifool]

yeah.

she's been on my mind a lot. mostly just thinking about how to approach giving her the apology she deserves.

[ichoosefight]

I hate to say it, but leaving her alone might be the best thing you can do. it's a little weird that she sought you out anonymously, but we were all pretty messed up after Lestari.



and tbh, my first boyfriend could come back as a fricken priest doing charity work in war zones and I would still beat him half to death
forgiving people is hard :/

[owarifool]

its not really forgiveness i'm seeking, tbh. i'm very sure, still, i don't really deserve it, no matter how i apologize.

but it still feels like something i should do, all the same.

[ichoosefight]

you did try

but I'm not sure an apology is really what she needs

[owarifool]

well i cant really give her what she needs, in any case.

[ichoosefight]

then who exactly are you apologizing for?

[owarifool]

well i'm not doing it for myself since i'm certain i don't really deserve any forgiveness.

and i guess it's not for her since an apology isn't fully what she needs.

so i guess it might just be because it feels like the only thing i can do. and i'm just not the sort of person who can just let things lie.

[ichoosefight]

I think you might have to. You're picking at a scab. Chances are, it will do more harm than good.

She thinks you're self-absorbed and dishonest. No matter how you try to tell her you're not asking for forgiveness, that's what it will look like to her.

In a way, it is selfish. You're not apologizing to make her feel better, because it won't. You're really only punishing yourself. That's not what she wants, and it's not what anyone else wants for you. It's what you want.

[owarifool]

so you're saying this is just more self-destructive behavior on my part?

you may be right

[ichoosefight]

Can you think of even one person who would benefit?

[owarifool]

it may not be what she needs, but wouldn't it at least help her?

[ichoosefight]

how much did the first apology help her? I got the impression it just upset her more.

[owarifool]

that first one came too quickly, too clumsily, with the hurt too fresh.

[ichoosefight]

also she's
kind of embarrassed

[ Steph did end up talking to Monika about this. It was very awkward, and very much a Mistake. ]

that she fell for it, but also that someone might treat it like a big deal
you know, teenaged pride and all that

[owarifool]

i can empathize. id feel that way, too, if i'm being nakedly honest.

thats really what it comes to, i guess. ive had a lot of time to further think about things from her perspective, not just the reasons that lead me to be


like this, i guess.

[ichoosefight]

and would an apology help you, in her position? if you felt like you were being treated like a child and made fun of? if you'd all but forgotten about it?