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Hey people.

[The man in the dark shades waved coolly at the screen as he sat on the edge of a small stone fence. It was freezing cold outside but in spite of the clouds that appeared whenever he spoke Crowley didn't seem to notice.]

We've all been brought here, had our powers taken and dolled out to us again in much smaller pieces... it's inconvenient, like being trapped in a baby walker... or trying to save the universe with your hands tied behind your back.

Point is, I need some volunteers who are skilled with Light magic, Healing magic, Animal magic, Kinetic magic and maybe another Elemental magic user who thinks they would be up to controlling sand. Think of it as training.

Also Angel, meet me on the Inn roof before midnight. Not sure it would work with an angel and a demon but if it does we could use some good luck for the new year.

[He doesn't know about the fireworks. Those are going to be a nice surprise.]

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Convincing people to help out with what? Tell me that honestly and I'll even let you rope me into it.

[ Honestly?! His eyes rolled but there didn't seem to be any other way. ]

Fell wants to move in together, so I've been out looking for a place.

[ Cause he is definitely NOT SWEET. ]

I found a guy who had just bought himself a new farm and all he did was whine about it. There were too many stumps to move, too much dirt to till... And all I had to do was bring up how hot it would be in summer, how many weeds he would have to pull, how much care and attention grapes actually would need and he was ready to give the place up. I offered to take it off his hands, sort of a rent-to-own deal, which apparently he had never heard of before but if it meant getting profits for doing nothing but sitting around in town he was all for it. I appealed to his lazy side.
I'm just getting a few volunteers to actually do the work of setting the place up and then it will be simple to uphold my end of the bargain. I could grow grapes in my sleep! And hey, the kids get a chance to use their new magic. It's not like they aren't getting anything out of it.

[he considers this. It's not entirely the most straightforward of intentions and very much pushing any other thoughts aside]

You could at least tell them what they're signing up for.

[but it's not up to him to tell them.

Congratulations and I'll see what I can do to help.

They wouldn't agree to help out if they didn't feel like they were getting something out of it.

[ A demonic interpretation of a human nature.

You were the exception Alec, being family and all.]

Thanks. Then you are on bunny duty. I need some one to convince them to move to the field next door.

[realistic, he means]

Fine. But if I'm helping I don't want to be invited over. Not for dinner. Not for tea. Or anything else Fell cooks up.

You won't be invited over!

[ Wait for it... ]

Family has a standing invitation, there is no need for a formal invite.

Fine then don't say anything and don't expect me to show up.

[because he won't and Fell can pout to his heart's content]

Why would I ever agree to...

[ Aziraphale would be upset and quite frankly Crowley didn't care for the deal either. ]

Forget it. I'll just have to toast some buns, all there is to it.

Why wouldn't you come over anyway?? You used to all the time. Terrible failed dinners, Christmas's... that fiasco with Easter... You will miss out on all those fun times.

Too late I've already agreed.

[as far as he's concerned the deal is settled]

If I tell you you're just going to pout more than you are already so answer your own question.

There isn't going to be a thing for you to do when you arrive so the deal is invalid.

[ He would make sure of that and actually most of the work had already been done by those enterprising trainees ]

So I'll pout! Its either that or I camp in your hotel room until you get sick of my being there and you tell me.

I'll show up ahead of time and do it.

You can pout at me while I work.

[he's heading over now ]

Where is it?

I said forget it!

[ No directions were being provided. ]

I want to know what your problem is. What is Alec Hardy suddenly a Buddhist or something? You can't walk into an Angel's place?

I'll find it.

[how hard could it be. Also he wasn't answering that question but it was strange to hear that surname from him.]

[ There were quite a few farms on the outskirts of town as the rolling fields were the best places for them and Crowley had no intention of making finding the correct place easy. He ducked inside the cottage so that there wouldn't be any sprigs of bright red hair sticking up over any fencerows. ]

And not answer ANYTHING. Have I ever mentioned how annoying it is when someone has... say a Great Plan... but they won't tell you a thing about it!? Whatever is bothering you can't be half as complicated as that.

It's not a plan. You're just going to whine and manipulate me until you get your way as usual.

[it's going to take him a while to find it. Several hours in fact. But he will. He'll just look for the rabbits. In the meantime he isn't going to hang up yet]

[ DAMN BUNNIES! Why couldn't they have stayed in their holes!? ]

So if we both know how this it going to turn out we could save some time and skip the in-between... There is no deal and you are invited over for tea, or dinner, or what ever other family torture we can dream up.

Invited doesn't mean I'm obligated to show.

[they are skittish bastards and he's tempted to ask a hawk or an owl where they might be. But he's not so cruel]

You don't want me coming to find you if you don't...

[ The local farmers know of the gone-to-seed farm overrun by bunnies. One of them even helfully points the way. ]

What are you going to do? Drag me? Come frown at me until I give in? Cry?

[he does get the directions and find the place seeded with rabbits]

PISS OFF!

[a lot of them scramble. Though not all]

[ Cry really?? Really??? He might have glared at Alec through the pane of glass on the backdoor once he noticed the disagreeable cousin was out there. ]

I can be a lot more creative and a lot more annoying than that...

And Fell will love that you've badgered me into coming.

I see you, you little shit. Go on then. Get!
[he's trudging around the house] And you too! [he growls at a vole]

I'll probably get an extra slice of tea cake.

[ The backdoor creaked open and he slowly slithered outside. ]

You used to be close. Not sure why you would make me go through all the trouble of arm twisting just to have you pop round...

If you really think that you don't know him very well at all.

[he eyes Anthony and then hisses at another rabbit that bounds off. He looks fine more or less, but a little bruised and with a cut on his cheek. His shoulder is also painfully wrenched but there's no need for his "cousin" to know that]

Part of the deal. Like I said.

We weren't close. At all.

He knows I would give it back.

[ It was more fun to watch Aziraphale eat it than to have it for himself after all. ]

There is no deal... And you went to the Zoo together. You don't go to a Zoo with just anyone.

[ His pout grew as his arms crossed over his chest and he rounded Alec like a serpent searching for a weakness while a bunny ran round the other side being a brat by taunting Alec. ]

You try to talk to a hibernating bear?

Because he's as irritating as you are. [it's not entirely the truth but not a lie either]

No. And too late. The deal is the deal.

[he sees the bunny and moves around Anthony to go after it, wincing only a little]

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