Oᴅᴀ Kɪᴘᴘᴏ̄sʜɪ (織田吉法師) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
owarifool) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
avalononline2021-09-26 04:30 pm
owarifool) wrote in avalononline2021-09-26 04:30 pm
text; un: maou
Behold the Fool of Owari, the Great Unifier of Japan, the Demon King of the Sixth Heaven.
and lmao well it turns out i didnt die in that fight with the dragon. u can file ur complaints with beowulf. gonna be out of commission for awhile but hey thats how shit goes i guess.
but aside from that, i wanna kno something. something thats sitting in my brain as we got a refugee crisis already forming on our hands and we pick through the rubble of a series of shitty decisions and maybe poor karma;
knowing what it is we are all here to do, do you still trust the people that run this Avalon, whether its Camelot or Celliwig or Whatever, to facilitate that task?
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thats why im asking about trust.
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How could anyone trust you? You show no respect. You don't care for others. You're here laughing at your own survival while others cry
You're disgusting
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but i also know my master would be really upset if i tried anything serious. but someone needs to put the leadership on this island's collective feet to the fire or we're just going to have to keep clearing dead bodies from rubble.
it wasnt for lack of trying that im alive. but if im gonna live, im gonna live my way. deal with it.
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I care how it affects others
You play by your rules. You hurt others. You mope a bit and then you do it again
You've not changed, not even one bit.
text; private
maybe. i carry a lot of sins as scars, but i never let my ambitions stop. right unto the end, as the fire consumed my corpse, i still felt them.
but u should know that guilt alone doesnt change ppl for the better. it takes a lot more than that. if i let it crush me, then i cant use that strength i have to help anyone.
some ppl will get hurt in that. not all of them will deserve it. most of them wont, if im being completely honest. if that disgusts u, then thats a consequence of being the 'demon king' and one i just need to live with. i will continue to burn for my ambitions regardless, because
i have to.
and its not noble or cruel, it just is what it is. this is why they call me the fool of owari.
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You acknowledge most of those people are innocents who don't deserve it
And you don't give a damn
That whole "demon king" and "fool of owari" bullshit
That's just an excuse for you to not change
That's an excuse for you to be able to sleep at night
While your victims may never sleep again
I don't care how you try to justify it. It is cruel. It is evil.
You dare trying to teach other people lessons when you cannot even reflect on yourself
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that i live well with everything i carry.
and i'll admit, i help foster this impression.
that is part of who the Demon King is, after all.
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I'm not pitying you
But what right do you have to make this choice for your victims?
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if one of my "victims" is going to turn the knife on me, then let them.
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The only way for you to change
Is for one of your victims to become a monster?
Are you so cowardly that you can't even spare us that?
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not that the person who finally betrayed me was really either of those things. just another person whose ideal image of me i could never live up to in reality.
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Not asking for pity? What other emotion are you trying to invoke when telling us the sad story of your betrayal? When depicting yourself as a tragic villain waiting to be slain? I am trying to tell you of the people you hurt. I am trying to tell you to change. But immediately you try depicting yourself as a victim.
You truly are a horrible person
[ There are no other replies after that. Any attempts to reply to that thread are met with weird errors. ]
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the nature of being a heroic spirit, of being an Avenger specifically, is that i dont know how to be what it is you want out of me. i dont know how to change my nature that much, if it's even possible. i don't want your pity, i just
i just know i fucked up with you and i dont know how to make it better. and i cant even convince myself i deserve the opportunity for it, because of all this shit im telling you.
i dont know what the hell im doing. but i know i dont want you to hurt any longer because of me. or anything.
[ He knows it's wasted text. It will sit there, unread. He gains no catharsis from even writing it. He just settles in his bed, and waits for his master to arrive with the fruit gummies, and work on pretending he's fine. ]