Video; Anonymous

[angel_of_death]

(CW/TW: mentions of undead, impalement, and a brief mention of self-harm practices... and also mild, yet colourful cursing)


[On the anonymously posted video is someone who is now perhaps a slightly recognizable figure; an adolescent youth of extraordinarily pale features and dark, ink-black hair.]

To anyone looking to venture into the Land of Rot to assist with the preparations for the equinox, I’ll be volunteering as an escort. Fighting the undead is my speciality.

[Walter looks about ready to leave it off there, before a strangled whimper sounds in the background, leading him to look over his shoulder behind him. For a moment, he contemplates. Then, facing the camera once more, he adds:]

…Oh, and if there are any healers who feel like tending to a bloke wanting to hack off unicorn horns, I’ll be handing this wanker over to the knights.

[He pivots to capture on his video feed one Poacher in Distress, who at this moment happens to be impaled to a tree trunk via unicorn horn.]

Personally, I think he deserves to suffer through it the old-fashioned way. But I figure some of you might like the free practice.

[It’s better than them harming themselves to get said practice, he reasons.]

Let me know if you want to give either a try. I’ll be checking back regularly.

Comments

video;

[cantgetanyworse]

Ah, oh dear--

[She doesn't actually mean for that first part to be spoken on the video, but presses to connect before she's quite ready. Jane has already got the impression that Walter is, well... like this and her shock is more from what she sees than knowing the young man is the one who did it.

Quietly, she clears her throat.]

Someone, uh... ought to at least make sure he doesn't bleed to death. [Look, she's here for punishing people who are needlessly cruel to animals. She's there all the way for that. Jane just has a mite more trouble sounding ruthless about it.] So that he can face punishment once he's handed in.

[angel_of_death]

No need to fear. The unicorn missed all the major arteries.

[But that horn is still embedded deeply into the culprit's shoulder tissue. It missed the subclavian artery, yes, but not by a terribly large amount.

The unicorn looks decidedly displeased about this.]

Pulling the bastard free will leave a hole though, and a gaping hole bleeds faster. So I thought it wise to ask first.

I can bring him to Camelot quickly enough. The question is, more or less, if someone would care to meet me as I hand him over.

video; UN: firstfallen

[corruptedsave]

[Have a kid, giving a low whistle at the poacher in distress.]

Hopefully you don't get too many people offering to help out someone like that, they deserve the punishment after all.

[Chara has high opinions on non-humans, and they did not like seeing that quest posting.]

[angel_of_death]

No takers yet!

[Maybe there aren't as many exceedingly soft hearts around as he thought? Or maybe they're all asleep. Who knows.]

Maybe he really will get what he deserves.

Video; un: Shoto

[itsmypower]

[A moral dilemma. He shouldn't be waffling. His eyes are drawn to the man behind him, and then he's glancing between the two. Back and forth.

He sighs.] Is he dying? [Small and cautious, as if he doesn't want the answer.]

I can take care of it.

[Nearly sour over this. Healing a criminal.]

[corruptedsave]

That's good.

[Probably asleep or something, who knows.]

And one can always hope that'll happen, sir.

[Video] un: fireworks

[usedforcepalm]

[The little girl of about ten or eleven with extremely pale eyes (including the pupils) seems to be handling the gruesome sight pretty well.]

I have blood magic. It might keep him from bleeding out too much if you can't get any healers to fix him?

[angel_of_death]

He's not dying.

[This, Walter speaks of in a tone that some may think entirely too casual.]

I didn't know you had healing magic. Is it your second type?

[angel_of_death]

I may have one volunteer.

[He holds a single finger up to the screen, illustrating his point.]

But by all means, if you'd like to practice staunching a wound of this size, I won't stop you.

[It just might save someone's life in the future, this being the reason he offered the opportunity for practice to begin with. It certainly wasn't sympathy for the criminal that had attempted to lure him out and use him.]

[angel_of_death]

Even if it doesn't, I intend to get the most use out of him I can. It's only fair, since he tried to use me. Not to mention the unicorn!

[He spares a look to the disgruntled creature.]

Don't you worry. I'll have you free soon. You can even give him a good kick if you want to.

[itsmypower]

[Unfortunately.]

Yeah. It's not my strongest, but it's enough for something like that. [The wound there.] If no one else'll do it...

[But who could blame them?]

[angel_of_death]

[Walter certainly wouldn't blame them.]

You're the first to volunteer. It seems like someone with blood magic is offering to help with the bleeding though. That would be good enough to close him up with some stitches.

[The captive audibly balks at the mention of stitches, echoing the last word in horror.]

Did I stutter? Yes. Stitches.

[He's talking to the criminal there, rather than to the screen. But he turns his attention back to the device quickly enough.]

If you'd like more opportunities to practice your healing magic, I might be able to arrange something.

[itsmypower]

[He needs the practice, but—]

Are you the one that stabbed him?

[Horrified wonder. He's whispering.]

In any case, I'm interested. [His eyes drift again, behind Walter, and then he's mumbling distractedly.] You had something else in mind?

[corruptedsave]

What? He tried to get you in on this crap? That's horrid.

[Chara most definitely hopes no one comes to save this guy now.]

And yeah, the unicorn should get to do whatever it wants to the guy!

[angel_of_death]

I do. But given the circumstances, I think it would be better if I discussed that with you later. I can't keep the unicorn waiting after all. The poor creature is probably hungry by now.

[He's not even mentioning the obvious discomfort of being pinned through one's body to a tree the other party is currently suffering.]

As for your other question, the unicorn did it. The idiot on two legs started it and tried to bait the unicorn into charging at the tree. He succeeded, obviously. But he failed to realize that I was keeping his very nice footwear pinned to the ground.

[Lace-up boots. Hard to slip out of.]

[angel_of_death]

I think the unicorn is due a free meal, too. Unfortunately, I'm not quite sure what they eat. I've never had occasion to interact with one before...

[corruptedsave]

Hm, well if they're like horses it might like an apple? Those are always given to horses as a treat after all.

[cantgetanyworse]

Ah, in that case.

[Though she isn't keen on Walter's methods, she can't really say anything against his results. The unicorn doesn't look happy, so it's likely only a matter of time before that wound is bleeding anyway.]

I'd be able to meet you, just to make sure it isn't so serious that he's going to die. If it's not, the knights can treat him themselves.

[Jane is sure they would not be quite as gentle as she tends to be.]

[angel_of_death]

That's not a bad idea! This is the best time of year for apples, too.

[corruptedsave]

Then there you go, oh. But you shouldn't leave the poor fellow to get the unicorn an apple, that would just be rude.

[angel_of_death]

I'll go ahead and toss this bloke to the knights and bring the unicorn a whole basket of apples to make up for the wait.

That might take a few minutes. If you're still up, I'll be happy to transmit a film of it.

[angel_of_death]

Right. You know the statue just outside of Camelot? The one by the western gate.

[Said statue being the one to which Camelot totems are attuned to. He only just recently purchased the recipe. Now was as good a time as any to test his first batch out.]

[corruptedsave]

I'm not that tired. [Sleep is for the weak after all.] So I might just still be up, Mister.

[angel_of_death]

Then I'll send the transmission when I get back. Cheerio!

[corruptedsave]

[Okay so, Chara can't help but giggle because they didn't think that people actually said cheerio for real. BUT they give a thumbs up, so that he'll know they'll be waiting.]