I think you might have to. You're picking at a scab. Chances are, it will do more harm than good.
She thinks you're self-absorbed and dishonest. No matter how you try to tell her you're not asking for forgiveness, that's what it will look like to her.
In a way, it is selfish. You're not apologizing to make her feel better, because it won't. You're really only punishing yourself. That's not what she wants, and it's not what anyone else wants for you. It's what you want.
no subject
She thinks you're self-absorbed and dishonest. No matter how you try to tell her you're not asking for forgiveness, that's what it will look like to her.
In a way, it is selfish. You're not apologizing to make her feel better, because it won't. You're really only punishing yourself. That's not what she wants, and it's not what anyone else wants for you. It's what you want.