Might as well tell the whole story. It was going to make more sense that way.
We talked ourselves into a date, in that thing. So I didn't realize it was her until we met up. And she has... a rough, really complicated history with relationships. The sort you and I can't really hope to actually understand, only empathize with as best we can...
...I considered her a friend, though maybe not a close one. She'd shared with me a lot about herself when folks were trading stories by the campfire... Which was exactly why I knew what I was doing was wrong.
[ He fished out a gummie, but only really pinched it in his fingers, not feeling the need to chew it just yet. ][ ]
I've got a lot of baggage, and I could only make hers heavier, but in my head at the time, what I thought was... she deserves a good date. She deserves a night of happiness. I'm just... not sure what convinced me it had to be me to do it.
I... I guess I panicked. She was so willing. Like dangling meat before starved wolves. I kept upping the pressure and she just kept seeming so... open to it. And it scared me, so I stopped. I called it off and...
[ He popped the gummie finally, but grimmaced as he chewed. ]
There's no excuses... I followed my impulses blindly, just like the Fool I am, an Avenger who can only feed into that cycle of love from hate, hate from love... it's no wonder my own relationships always felt so broken...
I had a reputation as being a heartbreaker in Owari, but this... this sucks. She isn't just some ordinary girl, she's someone whose very passion is seated in love and being worthy of love... and I ruined it. I snuffed it out. My empathy turned to pity, and that pity drove me to think I could offer any solutions she was able to handle... but not commit to actually being what she needed. How pathetic is that?
no subject
Might as well tell the whole story. It was going to make more sense that way.
We talked ourselves into a date, in that thing. So I didn't realize it was her until we met up. And she has... a rough, really complicated history with relationships. The sort you and I can't really hope to actually understand, only empathize with as best we can...
...I considered her a friend, though maybe not a close one. She'd shared with me a lot about herself when folks were trading stories by the campfire... Which was exactly why I knew what I was doing was wrong.
[ He fished out a gummie, but only really pinched it in his fingers, not feeling the need to chew it just yet. ][ ]
I've got a lot of baggage, and I could only make hers heavier, but in my head at the time, what I thought was... she deserves a good date. She deserves a night of happiness. I'm just... not sure what convinced me it had to be me to do it.
I... I guess I panicked. She was so willing. Like dangling meat before starved wolves. I kept upping the pressure and she just kept seeming so... open to it. And it scared me, so I stopped. I called it off and...
[ He popped the gummie finally, but grimmaced as he chewed. ]
There's no excuses... I followed my impulses blindly, just like the Fool I am, an Avenger who can only feed into that cycle of love from hate, hate from love... it's no wonder my own relationships always felt so broken...
I had a reputation as being a heartbreaker in Owari, but this... this sucks. She isn't just some ordinary girl, she's someone whose very passion is seated in love and being worthy of love... and I ruined it. I snuffed it out. My empathy turned to pity, and that pity drove me to think I could offer any solutions she was able to handle... but not commit to actually being what she needed. How pathetic is that?